Power Rankings Week 13: Niners thump, Chiefs stump

Week 13 has officially passed, and the Power Rankings have received quite a shakeup. Does anyone else feel like the NFL season is passing too quickly? Oh well, let’s see how the NFL fared this week.

1.Ravens (+1)

Even during their bye week, the Ravens keep winning. Upset losses to the Chiefs, Jaguars, Browns, and Steelers ultimately helped Baltimore strengthen their grip on the AFC North and made the race for the #1 seed a little less packed. While the Ravens Defense has been outstanding, with the Offense a little behind, they have a glaring problem: Consistency. The ball has moved better, but the performance against the Chargers (along with the Browns, Steelers, and Colts) was worrying. If the ball could keep moving consistently, the Ravens would be undefeated, but the Offense has a bad habit of stalling with leads. If they fix the stalls, the Ravens are a heavy AFC favorite. Next up, a home matchup against the Rams.

Make Playoffs: 99%

Win Division: 86%

First Round Bye: 29%

2. Niners (+1)

Almost a year ago, after the NFC Championship, Deebo Samuels told reporters “It wouldn’t have even been close if Brock Purdy played.” Well, he was right. A 42-19 demolishing of the best team in the league is a crazy thing to picture, but the Niners pulled it off. Purdy himself had 314 yards and 4 TDs to avenge last season’s loss and the Niners are cruising. While I do question the Niners consistency, they’re a good team, maybe even a great team. They just have to keep the ball moving.

Make Playoffs: >99%

Win Division: 99%

First Round Bye: 42%

3. Dolphins (+2)

“BAH GAW! WOULD SOMEONE STOP THE DAMN MATCH!” Jim Ross would’ve said it best, someone from NBC should really hire “The King” to commentate NFL games. Anyways, the Dolphins blow out another bad team and move on to 9-3, beating the Commanders 45-15, leaving them tied with the Ravens for the AFC’s 1st seed. While the meme continues to ring true, how will Miami fare against a good team? Of their three losses, two of them are against teams with a winning record (Eagles and Chiefs), the other team, being the Bills, is currently 6-6. Can Miami prove they’re a viable contender? Cowboys would make a great Christmas Eve gift, along with the Ravens on New Years Eve. Prove us wrong boys!

Make Playoffs: >99%

Win Division: 98%

First Round Bye: 37%

4. Eagles (-3)

Wow, Philly got smacked in the mouth, suffering a 42-19 loss to the Niners. After Jalen Hurts (298 yards and a TD) left the game in the 3rd Quarter, he returned in the 4th, just too late. While he seems fine, what does this mean for the reigning NFC Champs? The Eagles still hold onto the top seed in the NFC, but the Niners and Lions are creeping up behind them. Even worse, San Francisco holds the tiebreaker. Philly should be fine and cruise into the playoffs, but they have got to keep an eye on the Niners.

Make Playoffs: >99%

Win Division: 83%

First Round Bye: 47%

5. Cowboys (+1)

Did anyone expect an offensive duel on Thursday Night Football? After some purely boring matchups, we finally get a goodie. This was one of those shootouts that’ll probably be a trivia question next year, but that didn’t make it any less enjoyable. Cowboys came in and kept up with a surprising Seahawks team to take the game 41-35. With that being said, it appears that Dallas can beat anyone in the Playoffs not named the Eagles or Niners. I expect them to bowl over any poor soul they face in the wildcard round. 

Make Playoffs: >99%

Win Division: 16%

First Round Bye: 5%

6. Lions (+1)

What started as an apparent blowout win for Detroit ended with Lions fans biting their nails. After opening up to a 24-7 lead to end the half, The Saints came..well..marching. Two straight TDs to pull the lead down to 3. A Field Goal and TD was able to get the Lions back up to a 13 point lead. With Jameis Winston failing to get the team into scoring position, the Lions held on for the 33-28 win. After starting the season, destroying teams with their Offensive prowess, the Lions only average 5.67 points of victory the past 3 games. That’s awfully close for a team vying for the 1st seed in the NFC. Also, Sam LaPorta is a helluva weapon! 140 yards and a TD from a Tight End is nuts, but from a rookie? TJ Hockenson who?

Make Playoffs: 99%

Win Division: 94%

First Round Bye: 6%

7. Chiefs (-3)

No matter what you say about the flag (I personally think it was Defensive Pass Interference, you can’t grab the arm like that), Chiefs lose a heartbreaker and are suddenly looking up at the top seed in the AFC. While the game was on the line, it never should’ve come down to that for the Chiefs. Patrick Mahomes looked off (210 yards, a TD and a pick) for most of the game. The Packers have one of the worst Defenses in the league and Mahomes couldn’t do much against it. It’s also the first Chiefs loss with Taylor Swift in attendance. I don’t know why that’s important, but now you know.

Make Playoffs: 99%

Win Division: 96%

First Round Bye: 25%

8. Texans (+5)

Houston is currently just outside the playoff picture with the 8th seed, which should scare some wildcard teams, primarily the Colts. With CJ Stroud becoming an MVP candidate in his first year in the league, the Texans are a scary team. God, that felt weird to say, considering last year. While Stroud, 274 yards and a TD, kept hitting his favorite target Nico Collins, 191 yards and a TD, the Broncos Defense broke. With a clutch pick at the end of the game to hold off the comeback minded Broncos, the Texans are alive and well in the playoff race.

Make Playoffs: 80%

Win Division: 16% 

First Round Bye: <1%

9. Browns (+1)

In Joe Flacco’s first action since January (and for a different AFC North team. Seeing him wearing #15 is weird), he was solid. 254 yards, 2 TDs, and a pick isn’t bad, especially for a 38 year old man. While the Browns brought the deficit down to 1 point to start the 4th quarter, it was all Rams after that, resulting in a 36-19 loss. After the loss, the Browns fell to 7-5 and the 7th seed in a loaded AFC Wildcard race. At this point, Cleveland had no room for any mistakes whatsoever. Browns only benefit in the Power Rankings from the Jaguars big loss.

Make Playoffs: 59%

Win Division: 6% 

First Round Bye: <1%

10. Steelers (-1)

While decorating the tree with the folks today, I’d sneak away and check the scores of the game on the ESPN app. This score nearly made me drop my phone. Pittsburgh let the horrid Cardinals come into Acrisure Stadium and smack them, 24-10. While the Steelers Offense has improved, 317 yards and outgaining their second team in a row, they just couldn’t put up points against Arizona and their mediocre red zone defense. Now that we’re into the heat that is the playoff race, Pittsburgh needed this game. They now sit two games behind the Ravens. 

Make Playoffs: 53%

Win Division: 7%

First Round Bye: >1%

11. Jaguars (-3)

What an awful way to end the week for Duval. Jake Browning’s first primetime start being stuff of legends, falling to a beat up Bengals team 34-31 in OT, and the possibility of Trevor Lawrence being out long term. If any of you know a Jaguars fan, give them a hug. While Jacksonville was competing for the top seed in the AFC, there’s a good possibility they could flat out miss the playoffs. With CJ Beathard looking to make the start next week, the Jaguars could be hurting. Hopefully Trevor is OK and we’ll see him back on the field soon.

Make Playoffs: 96%

Win Division: 75%

First Round Bye: 8%

12. Broncos (0)

Man, I felt I jinxed the Broncos from my rankings last week, as the firefighters came and put them out. After an ugly day from Russell Wilson, 186 yards, 1 TD and 3 picks, the Broncos fell on the road to the Texans, 22-17. Denver’s Defense was torn apart by the duo of CJ Stroud and Nico Collins, who combined for 191 yards of Offense. While the Broncos, currently holding the 9th seed, aren’t dead in the playoff race, they need to win some games and keep up. If the Offense and Defense can click on both cylinders, this is a scary playoff team.

Make Playoffs: 21%

Win Division: 2%

First Round Bye: <1%

13. Bills (+1)

Boy, Buffalo needed this bye badly. Sitting at 6-6 and the 11th seed, the Bills need all the help they can get to return to the postseason. Speaking of help, when will Josh Allen stop being the entire Bills Offense. Allen currently has 13 interceptions, 2nd worst in the NFL after Sam Howell. While he’s forced to throw the ball into coverage quite a bit with the Bills pass heavy Offense, when will management stop relying squarely on him? If the Bills want to crash the postseason party, they have got to fix the issues on Offense. Up next for Buffalo? A meeting with Patrick Mahomes and the Chiefs. In Arrowhead. Yeesh.

Make Playoffs: 15%

Win Division: 2%

First Round Bye: <1%

14. Colts (+2)

Despite not being an insanely talented team on paper, the Colts keep winning. The 31-28 win was back and forth throughout the entirety of the game, other than Tennessee holding a 17-7 halfway through the 2nd quarter. While the Zombie Colts, who just won’t stay dead, are on a roll, they are still in a battle for the playoffs. They currently hold the 6th seed in the AFC, but they have to continue to roll. With the Browns, Texans, Broncos, and now Bengals breathing down their necks, any slip ups could cost them a postseason berth. 

Make Playoffs: 65%

Win Division: 10%

First Round Bye: <1%

15. Seahawks (-4)

Seattle played its ass off in Jerryworld. While they didn’t take a win home, they have shown the NFL that they can keep up with anyone. So, may I ask, where has this been all season? Seattle has some quality wins over Detroit and Cleveland, but have lost three straight and are currently out of the playoff picture and 3rd in the NFC West. Their season is in danger of ending prematurely. Jobs are on the line here.

Make Playoffs: 23%

Win Division: 1%

First Round Bye: 1%

16. Vikings (-1)

Another team that needed a bye badly, Minnesota is currently limping. While they’re 6-6 and the 6th seed (That’s 666 for anyone who’s superstitious. Sorry Vikings fans, that’s an omen if I’ve seen one) in the NFC, the Packers, the Rams, and Seahawks have the same record and smell blood in the water. If Minnesota wants to stay alive, they got to fight off their rivals and half of the NFC West. That, and the Passtronaut Joshua Dobbs has got to improve his decision making. A date with the Raiders in Sin City should help his decision making, but then again, it’s Sin City for a reason.

Make Playoffs: 44%

Win Division: 3%

First Round Bye: <1%

17. Rams (+1)

Since their bye week, Los Angeles is 3-0 and currently right behind the Packers for the last wildcard spot. They’ve given themselves a fighting chance, and ironically, Matt Stafford is a big reason behind that. Since the bye, Stafford has a 8:2 TD:INT ratio. He’s improved each game and has made the Rams competitive. Who knows, maybe he took what I said personally? 

Make Playoffs: 48%

Win Division: 1%

First Round Bye: <1%

18. Buccaneers (-1)

Tampa Bay scares me. Not in the sense where I think they’re dangerous to the NFL, but dangerous to themselves. A 21-18 win over the terrible Panthers is worrying. They did leapfrog New Orleans to get up to 2nd in the division and are just a game behind the leading Falcons, but can they do it? They remain inconsistent and have trouble beating bad teams. A 2-1 record in the division would be good for anyone else, but in the NFC South? This team is starting to miss Tom Brady. 

Make Playoffs: 27%

Win Division: 22%

First Round Bye: <1%

19. Falcons (0)

While it wasn’t a big win, a win is a win is a win. A 13-8 win over an imploding team isn’t going to scare anyone, but it helps the Falcons and their grip on the NFC South. After preaching his praises earlier this season, Desmond Ridder appears to be the problem in Atlanta. 121 yards and a TD isn’t elite production, even for a run heavy team. I’m sorry Atlanta, but you’re just an hors d’oeuvre for the Cowboys. 

 Make Playoffs: 63%

Win Division: 61%

First Round Bye: <1%

20. Packers (+5)

Big win by Green Bay to get them into playoff contention. While they probably should’ve lost the game (again, it was DPI), they held on and upset the mighty Chiefs on Sunday Night Football. Jordan Love looked like his old self, with 267 yards and 3 TDs. With the Packers currently holding the 7th seed in the NFC, they’re a target. They hold the tiebreakers over the Rams and Seahawks, but things can change. Hold on, Green Bay.

Make Playoffs: 71%

Win Division: 3%

First Round Bye: <1%

21. Bengals (0)

All hail Jake Browning! After being a giant question mark heading into the game, Browning looked like a seasoned veteran. Tearing up a good Jaguars Defense for 354 yards and a TD is impressive. Leading your team into OT and stealing a win on the road is nuts. Speaking of Nuts, Zac Taylor has some huge ones letting Tyler Boyd try to pass. Oh well, Bengals get a much needed win to stay alive in the playoff race. Sadly, their run of the AFC North crown comes to an end this season. By the way, Trey Hendrickson is a class act. Watching him trying to help Lawrence and taking a knee after is why I love football.

Make Playoffs: 7%

Win Division: <1%

First Round Bye: <1%

22. Titans (-2)

Tennessee just didn’t have any answers for the suddenly surging Colts. After blowing a 17-7 lead just before halftime, all the Titans could do was attempt to keep up and match them punch for punch. A late TD pass to DeAndre Hopkins was enough to get them into Overtime, but failing to reach the endzone cost them. While the Titans are struggling, the future has promise with Will Levis, 224 yards and a TD, but this team is a weird mix of young and old. The team has shown management that they can’t currently compete with this core, so do they choose to rebuild and get some youth in the door?

Make Playoffs: <1%

Win Division: <1%

First Round Bye: <1%

23. Chargers (-1)

Los Angeles gives me stress headaches anymore. If the casual fan checked the score on this game, they’d swore it was a baseball game. 6-0? In 2023? This would’ve been a helluva game back in the Roosevelt days. While rain was definitely a factor in this one, we’ve seen teams combine for 60 points in the snow. This game single handedly set Offense back 20 years. Can’t I ever say anything nice about the Chargers?

Make Playoffs: 7%

Win Division: 1%

First Round Bye: <1%

24. Saints (+2)

Give Nawlins some credit, they held on as well as they could. Not many can slow down the Lions Offense (*Laughs in Raven*) but they completed a 14 point comeback after halftime to make the game close. Jameis Winston (41 yards) took over for Derek Carr (226 yards, a TD, and a pick) after his injury and tried his best to take the lead late, but an incompletion and turnover on downs spelled doom for the Saints. Folks may disagree with me, but this is the most competitive “bad” team in the league.

Make Playoffs: 22%

Win Division: 17%

First Round Bye: <1%

25. Raiders (-1)

Las Vegas is trying to pick up the pieces after a dismantling from the Chiefs. While they’re trying to stay above water, it’s suddenly harder with Aiden O’Connell at the helm. While he isn’t the worst option, he’s the best the Raiders have right now. I don’t believe he’s the answer moving forward, but Las Vegas is stuck. They have two choices right now: Sink or Swim. While the Raiders are just below water, they aren’t dedicated to drowning. These next 5 weeks should be very telling. Up next, the Vikings come to town.

Make Playoffs: <1%

Win Division: <1%

First Round Bye: <1%

26. Jets (-3)

Man, will the suffering ever end for Jets fans? Going against a mediocre, domed Falcons team in the elements should’ve spelt victory for New York, especially after an early safety to put them up 2-0, but they fell apart. Not even Fireman Ed can save this season anymore. A 4-8 record has practically clinched another playoff trip to the couch. What a shame, this was one of the scariest teams at the beginning of the season. Man, my wildcard pick is basically out the window. What can I say? J-E-T-S! Suck! Suck! Suck!

Make Playoffs: <1%

Win Division: <1%

First Round Bye: <1%

27. Commanders (0)

What happened to Washington? They had so much promise starting the season. Sam Howell was balling out, Brian Robinson Jr was extremely underrated, and the Defense held its own. Now, Howell is a shell of himself, Robinson is forgotten in the Offense, and the Defense is a mess. I still think this core has promise, but it needs work. Howell is currently 2nd in the league in passing yards and definitely has talent, but the line can’t protect him. Washington has a special thing here and needs to work on it. 

Make Playoffs: <1%

Win Division: <1%

First Round Bye: <1%

28. Cardinals (+2)

With the season practically already over for Arizona, they’ve shown a little life, going into Pittsburgh and upsetting them on their own turf. While Kyler Murray makes this team competitive, they’re playing themselves out of a good pick in the draft. While Murray looks great after missing time with an ACL tear, is it truly worth risking another tear with 5 weeks left in the season? If you ask me, they should bench Murray, give him some well needed Modern Warfare 3 time, and just tank the season.

Make Playoffs: <1%

Win Division: <1%

First Round Bye: <1%

29. Bears (-1)

Chicago fans are certainly tortured. When they want the Bears to win, they lose. When they want the Bears to lose, they win. It’s a vicious cycle. Chicago has looked better with Fields returning, winning 2 of 3, but they’re losing their ground on a high pick, other than the Panthers pick, meowch. The Bears seem to have some Offensive firepower, but it doesn’t seem like Matt Eberflus can light the fuse. If I was a betting man, I’d bet cash on Eberflus losing his job this off-season. 

Make Playoffs: 2%

Win Division: <1%

First Round Bye: <1%

30. Giants (-1)

The Giants season altogether has been a failure. After making the postseason last year, they added a few pieces to strengthen the team, notably Darren Waller, and it’s been all for naught. Chalk up to bad luck or the team regressing, doesn’t matter. This team is bad and needs desperate help. As of right now, Tommy Devito has more wins as the Giants QB this season than the $160 Million Dollar man, Daniel Jones. New York is in a tough spot with that crazy contract, so there’s no moving Jones. Big Blue is blue in more than one way. No, not that way, perverts.

Make Playoffs: <1%

Win Division: <1%

First Round Bye: <1%

31. Panthers (+1)

Only reason the Panthers jump over the Patriots here is due to keeping up with a “contender”. Let’s be honest here, is anyone in the NFC South a true contender? Anyways, Carolina kept up with the Buccaneers. Rookie Bryce Young wasn’t at his best, 178 yards and a pick. Is it time to start labeling him as a bust? The debate could be had, at least comparing him to CJ Stroud. Stroud has his team in the playoff hunt with less, while Bryce has one win and is struggling with a somewhat talented team. Hot take: Panthers become the new Jaguars under owner David Tepper. Three head coaches since Tepper bought the team doesn’t show consistency. Sorry Panthers fans, at least the Commanders and Ravens are close enough to latch onto?

Make Playoffs: Eliminated 

Win Division: Eliminated 

First Round Bye: Eliminated 

32. Patriots (-1)

Patriots fans would argue “Josh, putting the Pats at dead last is bull! The Panthers only have 1 win! Is this revenge for the Patriots dynasty?” Short answer: Yes, yes it is. Continuing, at least the Panther had a pulse on Sunday. New England had a disappointing Chargers team come into Gillette and was shut out. While the weather was a mess, it’s no excuse. This game was an absolute snoozer and I feel for anyone that prepped for this game. That being said, New England’s season is over, being the first AFC team to be mathematically eliminated. I’d offer some tissues to wipe those tears away, but I’m sure those Brady jerseys are softer. It’s sad when the best thing about the Patriots on Sunday was the Uniforms. Please Mr. Kraft, bring back Pat the Patriot and the Red jerseys!

Make Playoffs: Eliminated

Win Division: Eliminated 

First Round Bye: Eliminated