Power Rankings Week 12: Broncos high, Lions die

Wow, what a crazy week of Football! Great teams looked bad, while bad teams looked…presentable. Okay, finished catching your breath? Good, now onto the rankings!

1.Eagles (0)

Man, what game. Going into the 2nd half after being booed by the home crowd, Philly came out swinging. A 17-7 deficit to Buffalo looked hard to overcome, but it looked hard against the Chiefs last week too. With a furious comeback (aided by Stefon Diggs mocking “Fly Eagles Fly”. Didn’t your high school coach ever tell you not to give the other team bulletin board material?), the Eagles found themselves down 31-28, needing a god-like 59 yard kick from Jake Elliot in the horrid conditions and boy did he deliver. With a Bills Field Goal in OT, Philly needed at least a tie. Well, a Jalen Hurts run and a 37-34 final score should tell the entire story. Philly moves to 10-1. Side note: for the sake of the fans, please br

Make Playoffs: >99%

Win Division: 91%

First Round Bye: 68%

2. Ravens (0)

In a bit of a shocker, the Ravens Defense was practically the whole reason they left Sofi Stadium with a 20-10 victory over the Chargers. The Offense fell asleep through the third and most of the fourth quarters. Lamar looked off and couldn’t get the Offense rolling. The Defense, however, was absolutely lights out. Forcing 3 fumbles and intercepting Justin Herbert kept the Chargers in panic mode. Unsung hero Arthur Maulet picked off Herbert and returned later in the game to get a big game-sealing sack. If the Offense, other than Zay Flowers, could score, this game wouldn’t have been even close. Good win by Baltimore. 

Make Playoffs: 99%

Win Division: 73%

First Round Bye: 15%

3. Niners (0)

San Francisco left no doubt as to whether they were back, whipping rival Seattle 31-13. While Brock Purdy was somewhat quiet (209 yards, 1 TD, 1 INT), Christian McCaffrey returned to his start of the season form, pounding for 114 yards and 2 TDs. What continues to be the constant thorn in San Fran’s side has got to be Philadelphia. After losing in last year’s NFC Championship game, can the Niners get past them for another chance to add a sixth ring?

Make Playoffs: >99%

Win Division: 98%

First Round Bye: 20%

4. Chiefs (+1)

While this isn’t the Kansas City we’ve grown accustomed to, they are continuing their winning ways, beating Las Vegas 31-17. While the Chiefs gave their fans a score, starting the game down 14-0, they awoke and outscored the Raiders 31-3. Yes, that means they broke the scoreless in the 2nd half streak, and in a big way too. I’ve received a lot of hate for putting Baltimore over Kansas City recently, but does anyone (outside of Missouri/Kansas) think this is the best team in the AFC? They’ve struggled as of recent and this win was well needed, but the rest of the AFC contenders caught up. The Chiefs are always dangerous with Patrick Mahomes at QB, but I think the dog has lost some of its bite.

Make Playoffs: >99%

Win Division: 99%

First Round Bye: 46%

5. Dolphins (+1)

Did Miami even break a sweat? During a 34-13 beat down of the Jets, it looked as if everything just came naturally for the Dolphins. While Tua could’ve had a better night (243 yards, 1 TD, 2 picks), the rest of the offense feasted on what was once an intimidating Jets defense. While competing with Jacksonville and Baltimore for the #1 seed, Miami gets the job done. While they still have yet to beat a team with a winning record, they’re in good position for a bye.

Make Playoffs: 99%

Win Division: 97%

First Round Bye: 19%

6. Cowboys (+1)

Dallas scores their 13th straight win in the Jerrydome in an absolute domination of the Commanders, 45-10. Before the game was even over, Dak Prescott and Zack Martin were spotted feasting on a Turkey leg together. Speaking of feasting, Dak also feasted on the Commanders secondary, posting 331 yards and 4 TDs. While the Cowboys look primed for the playoffs, can they compete with the Niners and Eagles? They’re currently 0-2 this season against them, and they’ll definitely be running into either team in late January. For the Cowboys faithful, let’s hope Dak brings his appetite. 

Make Playoffs: 99%

Win Division: 9%

First Round Bye: 3%

7. Lions (-3)

Luck has a weird way of turning, and it certainly turned on Detroit. After beating the Chargers by a Field Goal and having the comeback of the year against the Bears; they weirdly fell to Green Bay on the national stage. While Jared Goff looked a lot better than against the Bears, but being 1-5 on 4th down isn’t helping anything. Detroit practically gave Green Bay the ball on a silver platter. Luck be a cruel mistress and just when you thought she was giving the Lions a break, she became pretty ruthless again.

Make Playoffs: 99%

Win Division: 88%

First Round Bye: 4%

8. Jaguars (0)

The entire city of Jacksonville breathed out a collected sigh of relief watching that 58 yard Field Goal bonk off the front of the uprights. That aside, the Jaguars are now in a tie with the Chiefs and Dolphins for the 2nd seed in the AFC. While triumphant in Houston, the 24-21 win leaves a lot of questions for Duval. Can the Jags hold off opposing offenses? They can’t keep getting lucky like this. While I believe the Jags defense is good enough to hold off most offenses, they’ve had trouble with the Niners and Chiefs. You know who’s just down the pike? Baltimore. Brace yourselves.

Make Playoffs: 99%

Win Division: 95%

First Round Bye: 18%

9. Steelers (+1)

I’ve said it for months: Matt Canada was holding this offense back. New Offensive Coordinator Eddie Faulkner, the Steelers former Running Backs coach (and best friend of Matt Canada. Oof) walked into a prime matchup against the rival Bengals and made his mark; putting up 421 yards of Offense in a 16-10 win. While Kenny Pickett has been crucified in the media, he had a decent game. 278 yards, no TDs or picks. Not great, not terrible, but progress. If the Offense can put some points up, we could be looking at one of the most dangerous teams in the AFC. 

Make Playoffs: 78%

Win Division: 18%

First Round Bye: 1%

10. Browns (-1)

Cleveland misses its stars and it’s starting to show. A 29-12 (Scoragami!) loss to the Denver Broncos left a lot of Browns fans worrying about the future. The Browns are still in position for a playoff spot, but how long will that last? Dorian Thompson-Robinson is having trouble moving the ball, finishing the game Sunday with 134 yards and a TD. Joe Flacco was brought in as an emergency option, but he’s currently one of the oldest QBs in the league right now. Cleveland is looking at a helluva steep climb right now.

Make Playoffs: 68%

Win Division: 9%

First Round Bye: 1%

11. Seahawks

Man, Seattle’s in trouble. After starting the season hot at 5-2, they’ve suddenly lost 3 of 4. While two of those losses came at the hands of contenders in Baltimore and San Francisco, including Thanksgiving Night’s 31-13 whipping, one of those losses was to a very beatable Rams team. While the Rams game was by a heartbreaker, the Ravens and Niners game was by an average of 26 points. That’s nearly 4 TDs. Seattle has got to smell the coffee and wake up. Geno Smith had 180 yards and a pick, which is nowhere near enough to beat the Niners. Take that back, the Seahawks may need more than coffee.

Make Playoffs: 34% 

Win Division: <1%

First Round Bye: <1%

12. Broncos (+8)

Someone call the Fire Department, because the Broncos are on fire! (Dad joke over) In all seriousness, the Broncos have won five in a row and are becoming a serious contender in the playoff chase. Just when the horse was down with a broken ankle and ready to be turned into glue, he hopped back up and trotted into the sunset. While the Russell Wilson trade still looks like a bust, he’s fitting into the puzzle that is Denver. Here’s hoping Denver can continue their winning ways and prove a lot of folks wrong.

Make Playoffs: 27%

Win Division: 1%

First Round Bye: <1%

13. Texans (+1)

Houston was thisclose to pulling off the upset over the division leading Jaguars, but Kicker Matt Ammendola’s 58 yarder was just short. Seriously, that’s got to be the closest miss I’ve ever seen (other than the Double Doink)

That aside, the Texans played their asses off. CJ Stroud made work of the Jaguars defense, finishing with 304 yards, 2 TDs, and another TD on the ground. The story of the Texans this year has been astronomical; starting as a favorite for the first overall pick, currently just outside the playoff picture at 6-5. While playoff football is still an uphill battle for Houston, it’s within grasp.

Make Playoffs: 58%

Win Division: 3%

First Round Bye: <1%

14. Bills (-1)

Buffalo controlled its own destiny and is currently blowing it. Currently sitting outside the playoff picture, they’re making it harder and harder on themselves to return to the postseason. The sad part is; I’m not sure if anyone can really explain why the Bills have been mediocre. While Josh Allen is continuing to throw an interception a game, he’s still playing good ball. His 339 yard, 2 TD, and a pick statline will attest to that. While the running game, also controlled by Josh Allen (81 yards, 2 TDs), has suffered a setback, it’s moving. Defense has bent, but hasn’t broken. Sean McDermott has become the scapegoat, but I don’t believe this falls on him either. Maybe they’re cursed by the graveyard right next door to New Era Field? Yeah, that’s it.

Make Playoffs: 14%

Win Division: 3%

First Round Bye: <1%

15. Vikings

While Sunday’s midday lineup rewarded us with a gem in the Eagles-Bills game, Monday Night Football gave us an absolute stinker. The “Passtronaut” Josh Dobbs looked horrible. 185 yards, 1 TD, and 4 picks (that’s a game high for anyone this season) lead to the Vikings falling 12-10 to Chicago. This game should’ve been a blowout victory for Minnesota, but they couldn’t get out of their own way. While I believe Dobbs just had a bad night, it’s scary to see. Hate to say it (bad joke incoming), but Dobbs went from something shooting straight to Mars, to something sliding out of Uranus. No, I don’t get paid enough for this.

Make Playoffs: 51%

Win Division: 4%

First Round Bye: <1%

16. Colts (+1)

A lot of folks (including myself) tend to forget about the Colts this season, and they deserve more attention. A popular pick to be at the bottom of the AFC South, they’re right in the thick of the playoff race. Currently, they’re 6-5 with the 7th seed. That’s quite the achievement considering all they’ve dealt with this season. Losing Anthony Richardson and possibly Jonathan Taylor had Indianapolis down in the dumps, but with Gardner Minshew doing just enough and the return of Taylor has boosted the Colts. A 27-20 win against the Buccaneers isn’t a loud win, but it’s keeping Indy afloat.

Make Playoffs: 42%

Win Division: 1%

First Round Bye: <1%

17. Buccaneers (-1)

Tampa’s season would be on life support if they were in any other division. Sitting at 4-7, they’re only a game behind the division leading Falcons. After starting the season 3-1, they’ve lost 6 of 7. Yeesh. While the Bucs tried their best to stay in the game, Baker Mayfield just couldn’t get the ball moving. 199 yards, 2 TDs and a pick is disappointing for the veteran gunslinger. At this point, it’d be best for Tampa to start a rebuild, this isn’t the same Super Bowl team from yesteryear. 

Make Playoffs: 15%

Win Division: 11%

First Round Bye: <1%

18. Rams (+8)

Just like that, the Rams suddenly became the better LA team. While a 37-14 win over the Cardinals doesn’t exactly mean they’re a Superbowl contender, it’s progress and progress is exactly what the Rams need. They’ve quietly won games and are 5-6, which is just outside of the wildcard. With Matthew Stafford throwing for 229 yards and 4 TDs, it seems Los Angeles is waking up just in time. Now with phenom Kyren Williams back without missing a step, the Offense is chugging right along. The Defense is still young and worrying though.

Make Playoffs: 40%

Win Division: 1%

First Round Bye: <1%

19. Falcons (+2)

In the matchup for the current NFC South crown, Atlanta took the game, 24-15. At this point, is anyone in the NFC South really winning? Looking at the NFC standings reminds me of that song from Sesame Street. “One of these things are not like the other! One of these just doesn’t belong here!” Whoever the South produces is getting killed by the Cowboys. While Desmond Ridder returned to action Sunday, he was bad. 168 yards, a TD, and 2 picks. While the Saints have a decent Defense, this is just…stank. Bijan Robinson had a nice day with 91 yards and a TD on the ground, but can these two will Atlanta to a division title? Ask again later.

Make Playoffs: 60%

Win Division: 55%

First Round Bye: <1%

20. Titans (+2)

In the battle of two of the most hyped QBs in last year’s rookie class were…nowhere to be found. It became the battle of Running Backs, with the better back winning. After an ugly contest, Tennessee prevailed over Carolina, 17-10. Tennessee had 8 penalties for 53 yards and looked utterly undisciplined. Hellman’s own Will Levis had a quiet day, with just 185 yards. Meanwhile, Derrick Henry carried the load, with 76 yards and 2 TDs. While Tennessee’s season appears to be over, is Mike Vrabel’s career in Nashville over as well?

Make Playoffs: <1%

Win Division: <1%

First Round Bye: <1%

21. Bengals (-2)

Cincinnati has been cursed from the moment the season started. After starting the season 1-3, they clawed their way to 5-3, just to fall to 5-6. After losing Joe Burrow for what appears to be the season during the Thursday Night game against the Ravens, they’ve struggled. While Jake Browning had a lot of Bengals fans worried, he wasn’t the problem against the Steelers. The run game was practically nonexistent. Joe Mixon had 16 yards on 8 carries. Browning’s passing accounted for 227 of the Bengals 222 yards. That’s right, take away Browning’s numbers, the Bengals had a grand total of -5 yards. Just spectacular. The Skyline Chili in Cincy must be watered down with the teats of Bengals fans. Maybe next year. (Side note: Cincinnati style Chili is goated and I will argue with anyone on this.)

Make Playoffs: 3%

Win Division: <1%

First Round Bye: <1%

22. Chargers (-7)

God, can’t I write anything different about this team? Although a 20-10 loss looks close, Los Angeles was destroyed on the field. While the Defense did enough to slow down Lamar and the Ravens rushing attack, the Offense was MIA. Three fumbles, two on back to back drives, isn’t exactly inspiring anyone. To add insult to injury, an image that’ll haunt Chargers fans:

That’s right, Quentin Johnson over Zay Flowers has to be haunting Los Angeles, especially after he was the only Raven to score on them, other than Justin Tucker. Chargers season is officially on life support. Has anyone checked on that Chargers fan? I wonder how she’s doing with that Buffalo Wild Wings sponsorship?

Make Playoffs: 9%

Win Division: <1%

First Round Bye: <1%

23. Jets (-5)

All New York knows is pain. After trading for Aaron Rodgers, I expected them to take a step forward, not this. After benching Zach Wilson, Gang Green turned to third stringer Tim Boyle. Spoiler alert: They shouldn’t have. 179 yards, 1 TD, and 2 picks is a rough statline to have. To end the first half on the coined “Hell Mary” will keep Jets fans sleepless for weeks. Hate to say it, but the Jets season is over. 

Make Playoffs: <1%

Win Division: <1%

First Round Bye: <1%

24. Raiders (-1)

What a letdown for Vegas fans. After starting the game 14-0 against the hated Chiefs, they choked away the game and fell 31-17. Admittedly, I knew the Chiefs would come back, but a part of me loves an underdog and wanted the Raiders to take this game. Oh well. Aiden O’Connell wasn’t bad, finishing with 248 yards and a TD, but I still expect Las Vegas to hunt for a rookie to sit behind Jimmy Garoppolo for the time being. With that albatross of a contract forcing the Raiders to be stuck with Jimmy, I don’t see him being moved anytime soon.

Make Playoffs: 1%

Win Division: <1%

First Round Bye: <1%

25. Packers (+2)

Big upset win for Green Bay, beating the Lions 29-22 on Thanksgiving. Coming into a game that a lot of fans (including page owner Brandon) were guaranteeing a Lions win, the Packers didn’t look shaken whatsoever and Jordan Love had one of the best games of his young career. 268 yards and 3 TDs is quite a performance, but can Love keep it up. He’s been up and down all season; one minute looking like the future in Green Bay, next looking like the past. If he can be the solution at QB, Packers have something to build around for the future.

Make Playoffs: 46%

Win Division: 1%

First Round Bye: <1%

26. Saints (-1)

Nawlins just can’t seem to get it right. After entering the week leading the awful NFC South, they blew their chance to increase the lead. While Derek Carr had a great game with 304 yards and a pick, they struggled to move the ball. Carr’s only pick was returned for a Pick Six by Jessie Bates. Take that away, Saints are looking at a 2 point deficit. At this point, someone has to win this Division, right?

Make Playoffs: 43%

Win Division: 34%

First Round Bye: <1%

27. Commanders (-3)

Washington’s offense seems to be night and day recently. After scoring 31 against the Eagles in week 8, the Commanders haven’t surpassed 30 points in a game since. The 45-10 routing just further cements that this team needs talent. They’re trending in the right direction, but this roster needs a total flip for it to be successful. While Sam Howell (300 yards, 1 INT) has looked better, he still gives Washington hope and is definitely a player to build around. With DC’s season practically over, we’ll just have to sit back and watch this off-season. Most likely, the first item on the shopping list will be a new Head Coach.

Make Playoffs: <1%

Win Division: <1%

First Round Bye: <1%

28. Bears (0)

Somehow, someway, the Bears pulled off an upset over the Vikings. Was it the 4 interceptions of Dobbs? Probably. Was it the heroics of Justin Fields (217 yards)? Closer. Was it the otherworldly work of “legendary” Kicker Cairo Santos? *ding ding ding*. That’s right, Chicago was the first team this season to win a game without reaching the end zone. I’m not sure Bears fans want to cheer on the win, or cry that their top weapons couldn’t even smell the end zone. Oh well, Chicago gets a win. As we all know, a win is a win is a win. Or something like that. 

Make Playoffs: 2% (Really?!)

Win Division: <1%

First Round Bye: <1%

29. Giants (0)

Let’s be honest, did anyone watch this game? After firing up Tommy Devito with The Sopranos theme, he went out and got a win for Big Blue. I’m personally glad to see New York embracing Devito, because that man is as New York as giant slices of pizza and bad traffic. While 191 yards and a TD is nothing to write home about, it was more than enough for this game. A 10-7 game certainly isn’t exciting, it helps morale. Didn’t these teams play in a Super Bowl 11 years ago? 

Make Playoffs: <1%

Win Division: <1%

First Round Bye: <1%

30. Cardinals (0)

Another season, another double digit loss season in the Desert. While Kyler Murray coming back has been a bright spot in sorts for Arizona, it’s too late for the season. Let it be known, the Cardinals have somewhat sabotaged Murray. While the addition of Marquise Brown is starting to pay off, what else does this Offense have? James Conner is a decent back, but decent doesn’t cut it in the NFC West. At this point, I think the Bidwell’s are more interested in the bottom line rather than the Offensive line. Sorry Cardinals fans.

Make Playoffs: <1%

Win Division: <1%

First Round Bye: <1%

31. Patriots (0)

At this point, New England has practically clinched the worst record in the AFC. While they aren’t, say, the 2008 Lions or the 2017 Browns, this team is god awful. Sunday’s 10-7 loss to the Giants made that awfully clear. Mac Jones appears to be a shell of his former self. 89 yards and 2 picks against one of the worst defenses in the NFL is ghastly. I’m getting the feeling that Robert Kraft will have his hands full this off-season. On the bright side, it appears New England will have a top 5 pick. Lots of QBs ripe for the taking. Man, Patriots fans must be missing the 2010’s right now.

Make Playoffs: <1%

Win Division: <1%

First Round Bye: <1%

32. Panthers (0)

Will the real Bryce Young please stand up? After being drafted 1st overall, he has yet to show us he can be a star in the league. While he has shown promised, if you compare him to CJ Stroud, he falls way flat. Carolina just doesn’t have a direction. One day, they’re pass happy. Next, the keep the ball on the ground. While they look to clinch the NFL’S worst record, they don’t have their first round pick. All ye enter here abandon all hope.

Update: Things just got much worse for Carolina. The Panther have fired Head Coach Frank Reich, Quarterbacks Coach Josh McCown, and Running Backs Coach Duce Staley. Prepare for a long off-season Panthers fans.

Make Playoffs: <1%

Win Division: <1%

First Round Bye: <1%